Saying Goodbye, Not Good Riddance
An open letter to my students.
Dear Students,
Today is your first official day of summer break. I hope that you are all sleeping in and resting from a long school year. I know many of you probably stayed up until the early hours of the morning playing Fortnite or watching endless TikToks. Please do not let this become a habit over the summer. Summertime is for rest and recovery, and you cannot get these things if you don’t put away your infinity apps and actually sleep (preferably 10-12 hours per night). This summer, try not to spend all day inside in front of a screen. Go outside and get your hands dirty. Eat fruits and vegetables instead of fruit-flavored candy and Takis®. Make the most out of this summer break. Try new things. Read a book (or two). Start a new hobby that doesn’t require Wi-Fi. Walk or ride your bicycle when you feel down or bored. Remember, “the demons hate fresh air” so don’t let lethargy take over. Play hard. Sleep a lot. Enjoy this liminal time between the end of elementary school and the beginning of middle school.
I’m not sure how you feel about your fifth grade year. On the last day of school everyone was sentimental and excited for the afternoon party. It’s easy to remember the flagship moments of our experiences. I’m curious what were some of your peaks of fifth-grade? What do you remember most from our time together?
One of my favorite memories is the music we listened to in class. I loved it when you all would start spontaneously singing during independent work time. Whether I was playing Taylor Swift in the background or a song from our class playlist, I felt connected when everyone would sing. These were joyous moments for me and I hope you enjoyed them as much as I did. Communal singing is good for you.
I will remember our daily walks after your Art, Music, PE, or STEM class. You would grab your morning snacks. I would sync my fanny pack speakers, connect to Spotify, and blast whichever songs you requested that day. Our playlist kept growing throughout the year and I loved getting to know all of the new artists and songs you listen to. Ladies, you definitely dominated our musical tastes this year.
I remember how much you all loved working with your Kindergarten buddies. Even when you were having a rough day, whenever you saw your buddy, you lit up with enthusiasm. Watching you read, color, or play with your buddy always brought me such joy, and I am confident that your Kindergartener will always remember you.
Great experiences hinge on these peak moments. Dan Heath calls them “defining moments: short experiences that are both meaningful and memorable.”1 I know that not all of our learning experiences were successful; many times they ended in disengagement and disappointment. However, I plan to hold onto the short moments in our school year when everyone got along and there was that wonderful feeling of group flow. Sometimes I would look up and see everyone engaged, animated, and on-task. I could feel the hum of learning. It didn’t happen often and never lasted long, but for me, these brief moments will be some of my favorite memories from the year.
I don’t want to spend more time lecturing you on advice for the future. I spoke from the heart at your continuation ceremony and I meant every word. Teachers often worry that their lessons won’t stick; that everything they do to help mold their students’ character and help them grow academically, will be forgotten once the final bell rings. I hope that at some point in your life, you reflect on your time in my classroom with fondness, even if there were many, many, many challenging moments.
At the beginning of the year, I promised you that my fifth-grade classroom would be a different experience from other classrooms. I planned to favor storytelling over lecturing; relationships over assignments; wondering over worksheets; collaboration over competition; flow over finality; flexibility over rigidity; non-conformity over compliance; continuous feedback over grades; deep learning over rote memorization; and civil disobedience over authoritarianism. I want you to know that I never set out to tame you as a student. However, I took for granted that you would automatically identify as a learner and would actively participate in your own learning. I didn’t expect so much recalcitrance.
For what it’s worth, I want to apologize for not making good on all of my promises. I failed to motivate many of you to read for pleasure and get excited about learning. When things got too stressful for me to handle, I resorted to lecturing and worksheets. I desperately tried to control your academic mutiny when my free-flowing nature failed to engage you. I yelled more than I wanted. I hope that I did not cause you harm.
Most importantly, I hope that you felt safe enough in my classroom to be your full, authentic selves. I have always privileged your well-being and opinions. I have always expected you to do great things, not only academically, but personally. I never saw you just as troublemakers; I recognized your humanity. I know that this year was very challenging for you because I pushed you to be vulnerable in your learning. I expected you all to grow academically. Even though many of you are leaving elementary school without a love of learning, I hope you recognize the humanity within yourselves. I’ve seen it and know that, despite your previous struggles, you are good kids and will grow up to be incredible people. If you follow our Guiding Principles: LEAVE, LEAD, LIVE, LOVE, I know you will be successful, no matter what letter grades you receive.
Remember our classroom ethos of We over Me: The needs of the classroom community supersede the wants of the individual student. This will serve you well outside of the classroom. Take care of yourselves and take care of each other.
Know that despite our struggles, I will look back on our class with fondness. Please stay in touch and let me know how you are getting along. When you come back and visit me, I will smile and welcome you with open arms. I’m excited to hear the great things you accomplish. This is goodbye, not good riddance. Have a great summer!
Sincerely,
Mr. Neibauer
Resources
If you still have some weeks of school left, and are looking for ways to end your year on a high-note, be sure to read
by . The above post is about auditing the choices you made as a teacher this year. I plan to do this for myself, and I believe it applies to non-teachers as well.
I usually do this at the end of each calendar year, but I see value in Ferriss’ method for any end-of review. Here is Ferriss explaining it himself.
I’m a huge fan of
’s work and living philosophy. Check out his 10 things worth doing this summer.
This book is next on my To-Read list (I’ll have an official Summer Reading List coming soon). If you want a sneak peak of what’s inside,
wrote a great post about the Slow Learning Project.
20 New Ideas and Activities to Try This Summer
I love lists and this one has some great suggestions.
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If anxiety can be a part of your summer vacation, here is some advice from Ryan Holiday and letting go of things outside of your control.
I always enjoy reading your posts. In the end of year tiredness, fatigue can cloud good years.
I echo many of the sentiments: wanting to give the kids a different experience, not wanting to stress grades, and so on. But I think even good years feel like balls were dropped while juggling.
Adrian, I only know you, your students, and the struggles you have all faced from what you have written about. It seems that you have shared the best, and possibly the worst of yourself with your class this year. Same goes for them. In other words, you are all human. You set high standards for yourself and everyone else in your class community and expectations do not always come to fruition. What you, and your students have learned this year will affect you all in ways you aren't even aware of. Some of those kids may be 30 before they realise that fifth grade was a turning point for them, and some may never realise. That's ok though, because we can't make anyone else feel. We can only do. Take your own advice. Have a summer. Whether or not it's great is up to you and your choices. Being the fastidious, caring person you seem to be, I'm sure they'll be good choices.